Don’t worry, I’m not surprised I HAVE a threenager, I’m just surprised she is one.
Anyone who knows me, or indeed read some of my earlier posts, will know that my eldest daughter and I have had a somewhat rocky past. Most of her rage induced tantrum’s stem from clothing. She HATES anything restrictive, anything remotely warm, especially wearing closed shoes (thank goodness we live in Africa, she would never cope in the UK). She’s basically a summer fairy who would be quite happy to run barefoot in the dirt wearing a small vest, short tights, hair unbrushed with bit of food in it, forever.
Last winter was the hardest most frustrating soul destroying time ever! We fought every single day basically because I needed her to dress warmly, and she didn’t want to. She turned 5 during winter last year, knew what she wanted, what she didn’t want, and was definitely too old and big to wrestle, bribe, or even reason with when she was in a rage.
She is five and a half now, and I’m not saying it’s over, but the improvement in her behavior in the last six months has been so amazing. Don’t get me wrong, we had a small relapse this Monday morning just gone, but by Tuesday it was over!
Prior to this she exhibited all the classic manifestations associated with ‘terrible twos’, ‘threenagers’, ‘f*cking fours’, so to be fair to me I’m due a break. Apparently 7 is the next hurdle, so maybe I’m off the hook with her until then. (Please pray for me?)
Whilst all this was going on, my youngest was my ‘good child’. She wore what I wanted, got dressed on time, ate her food, listened, slept, napped, breezed through potty training, everything you need when you’re dealing with the other one.
And then last month came around. Maybe she’s just late to the party, or maybe the universe decided to simply swap one for the other.
The last month has been filled with rage, anger, frustration, and whilst I am used to it from my eldest, I NEVER expected it to come from my youngest. The angel. The well behaved child. The sweet one. The one who remembers her manners. The one who can crawl up on anyone’s lap and give them the most heartfelt cuddle. THE GOOD ONE!
It’s like I’ve been blindsided … I never saw it coming.
My girls are also completely different so I’m not even prepared for this. I can’t use the same tactics or reasoning as I did before. They won’t work. Here are a few of her recent behavior traits:
- Every request is screamed at me like I’m thick, or deaf, I don’t think she has decided which one yet.
- She refuses, point blank refuses, to tidy up when I ask her to.
- She will NOT get out the bath when I ask her to, she will sit in there until she is good and ready to get out. I don’t have the energy to forcibly remove her either because the resulting tantrum is not worth it! Thank goodness we have another month of two of summer left so she can stay in there until the water gets cold.
- She won’t eat anything I give her the way I give it to her, I always f*ck it up somehow – see my post earlier in the week. If you didn’t know, NEVER let the different food groups touch each other. EVER!
- Every outfit I pick out for her is wrong. I don’t think I’m going to even try anymore.
This morning when I dropped them at school, I parked the car up, let each child out their own door (god forbid they have to get out the same door – then I would have chosen a side and loved that child more!), helped them cross the road to the school gate, and I hadn’t even taken two steps over the threshold and she swung around and shouted “I can go by myself! Don’t come!” It felt like she’s slapped me! Even the teacher manning the gate was shocked!
What a little brat!
She’s lucky she’s cute, although the memories of those days are starting to blur and be taken over by the more recent ones!
I know there are many parents out there who know what a threenager is like, who can totally relate to what I’m saying now. I’m just in a little bit of shock and it’s taking me a bit longer to accept that she is a threenager.
I must have been an awful child. Once again, I’m sorry mom. Please forgive me and lift the curse? If you can’t, can you please come and visit for the next 6 months? All expenses paid!
Until then, I may have to drink ALL the wine!